A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
