i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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