The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize