Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
