I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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