"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
