i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
