There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
