so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
