last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
