The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
