Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
