I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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