Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
