i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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