I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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