The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
