I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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