Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize