I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
