this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
