i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize