I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
