ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
