Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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