What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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