Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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