There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
