Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
