so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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