Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
