lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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