I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
