we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
