Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
