big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
