I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize