Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
