the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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