I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
