You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
