Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
