It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
