What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
