I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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