what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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