it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
