Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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