I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
