okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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