Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
