Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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