if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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