New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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