Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
