i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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