let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
