ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
