why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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