kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So much rum. So many feels.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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