I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
