when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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