Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
