I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
