you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
