question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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