on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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