well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
