Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
