I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There r osticjed everywhere
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize