just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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