she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
