Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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