Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
