I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
