Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
