I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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